Dildo, Dildon't

obamafart:

you think this is a mother fucken’ game?

i was havin a great time until i remembered that i was ugly

momlonde:

righteouskungfu:

dersely:

momlonde:

do you ever see a photograph of someone really attractive from like the 1800s and you suddenly get pissed because they’ve been dead for like 200 years and you probably don’t have a chance with them

“probably”

“We have to go back”

image

you are the first person to add a comment to this that wasnt doctor who and it made me smile too bless your soul

ikaries:

when u hear ur name in a conversation

image

baracknobama:

cardio? more like cardino

haemus:

The girl you just called hot? That me

nayx:

i only type with my dick

realitytvgifs:

me on a diet

idkblogger:

"yeah sorry i didn’t do my homework i couldn’t see the page cuz of my tears"

heartmehateme:

shoutout to the friends that still like me

all two of you

sassykardashian:

my heart says yes but my bank balance says no

meladoodle:

*forgets what im talking about halfway through a sentence*